A simple mind

Hello to those coming from a-far and beyond!
Today I am quite excited because my internet is for once co-operating with me instead of going against me, therefore I can upload!
There are actually two specific people I want to blog about but, I'll go one at a time.

Today I introduce you to a photographer who I personal admire very deeply,

Richard Avedon.

Now, Richard Avedon's creative photography caught my eye for very plain ans simple reasons.
His facination with Black & White.
His unique ability to capture so much emotion in one portrait.
His amazing portraits.

Richard Avedons Photography literally leaves me in awe, and as much as there is SO much to actually say and talk about with his art, it's quite difficult to put into words somehow.
The reason I came upon this brilliant brilliant man was because of a project I have undergo, I won't say much now, only that it's to do with art and photography.

Here are some of the great photos taken by Richard Avedon, I hope they speak as loudly to you as they did to me.

Butterflies ..

A warm welcome my Bloggerbugs, I know I'd want one! :S. I am now back in Pretoria and mother nature is not too happy, its soo cold that I am writing this while literally shivering. I did however have a great flight with no turbulence :).

Butterflies.
Now what is the first thing to come to ones mind when that word pops up? Butterflies. Well most would say, it's an insect, it flies and its developed from a larva.
Yes, that is correct, that is the very teenage brief explanation for a butterfly. However, thats not all a butterfly is, ever have a strange feeling in your gut as if something was maybe tickling you from the inside? This feeling is usually influenced by the sight of someone, this someone as average as they may be, has got the power to make your heart skip a beat, palms sweat, knees quiver and allegedly give butterflies.
The power of  of butterflies.

Then their is, the butterfly effect. For those unsure of this, the butterfly effect is a theory that explains, where (ex) a butterfly in a place may be injured (not flapping it's wings) it could cause great tragedies elsewhere. A movie was made about it and although I haven't watched it I know what the butterfly butterfly effect means. This is however just a theory, and it is anyones choice to believe it or not, What do you think? Do you believe?

A funny fact about myself related to butterflies, I am actually quite scared of them, The way the flutter uncontrolably, and how strange they are and also, the mere fact that their insects bothers me. I am also very scared of feeling butterflies, how all of a sudden my heart skips a beat at the sight of that one person , how no matter how hard I try not to look at them they end up always appearing in front of me, how even just the sound of their name alarms my ears and then.. I feel them again their wings flapping in my stomach not just one but thousands, tickling my the walls of my insides.

I hate the butterflies,
but they seem to love me..

An early post

Today, just because its worth it, worth the time, patience and love expressing how you feel even if, real words can't be said. Although theres always one little sentence that CAN be said,

Shit "literally" happens.

A beleza esta na gordura

Now, I have always always looked at the mirror and thought to myself "Huh look at that, I'm so fat, I hate my love handles and my thighs are HUGE, I wish I was skinnier". However, I'm sure I'm not the only girl who does this, many women probably struggle with weight issues and, it dosen't help that every woman we see in movies and in music videos are all well "skinny" worst of all we get this image of how women SHOULD look by looking at models. Models in their skinny figure mentally tells us that, thats how girls are seen as "hot". Another thing that grabs our attention Is how guys are also into the skinnys.
But, back tom my first point, All girls want the perfect image. And we work hard for it, but what happens when girls become physically and mentally obsessed with their body image?

 This is Isabelle Caro, she is a young woman who unfortunately died last year in Japan due to pneumonia. Isabelle had been suffering from Anorexia. A picture of her (the last one) was up on a billboard in France as a petition to stop Anorexia. So again I ask how far are we willing to go? To the point where we build up eating disorders? She was quite brave to have done this commercial, she actually thought it was a great idea, it was almost like a way of her expressing how serious and how dangerous this disease is, she had been suffering  from anorexia since the age of merely 13. She also said it was a great way of showing her years of work to the world and hopefully, it will be an eye opener for many young females all around the world.

I was quite astonished when I saw this and it touched me deeply, I'd rather appreciate my body then try to change it, of course there will be days where I will just want to cutt my stomach off (not literally) hehe  but deep inside value it, it's your body, your temple.


"BEAUTY IS IN THE FAT"

Keeping it old school

Thousand apologies for the absence once again,

The title speaks loud and clear, I am going back and having a little break from modern say music.
Thats right, leaving behind for a little while all the Beyonce's, Rihannas and what not. Besides, the Oldies were the ones to introduce the good jamming tunes AND were also great mordern day artists insperations!
So travel back :) It's fun!

Besides my going back, I am in Mozamique presently, enjoying, well cold as well but "mini" summer in the afternoon with the sun at it's highest and hottest.



Some Cyndi Lauper for your ears, If you don't know her by name I'm sure you know this song ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPn0KFlbqX8&feature=relmfu

The bitter winter

A warm welcome to everyone I know I would love one, the cold in Pretoria isn't getting any warmer in fact, it's now almost impossible to leave the house without a jacket. Along with that, the days are getting shorter, the work is getting heavier and the stress is increasing.

Hibernation is what is going on in most students lives at the moment, as they sit on their ass's and study study study, Good luck to anyone facing exams.

Have you ever, woken up and felt something the same compared to how you woke up on the previous day? Obviously its a new day, one thats never been lived before, a new millenium but, even still it could just be another thursday, so what? It was thursday 7 days ago, yet something dosen't feel right, It's maybe a little colder than before and the not so early morning feels quite, not that much light from the window, no noise of drive by cars, no footsteps of frustrated pedestrians, no loud cheerful voices of young girls, no whispering wind creating ca us to pamphlets on the walls. The room is still and lifeless. I have, I'v woken up to such things but unfortunately thats what happens sometimes.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today, about secret passions. Mine is/was singing until I finally came out and told everyone, even still very little people have actually heard me sing it, my friends secret passion was song writing, I was shocked to hear how the two clicked and I loved how she told me this, I could see her face change as she got shy telling me she wrote music, I found it wonderful and she suggested I sing a song and she played it on the guitar, like an acoustic. I loved the idea I really do want to start doing something with this new ability and I really hope it does improve and I hope I can do something great with it one day.

"It's OK, Not to be OK."


-Jessie J

"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress."


-Mahatma Gandhi 

Ohh, another flashback moment

So, upon updating my cellphone, filling in my tracks and music I ran across some really old photo albums and I couldn't stop smiling.  From slightly "Happy" times, Friends birthdays dinners, to over the coast travels, and all the way back to the weekend routine of going to parrties :)

The "BB"

Surprise!

Yes thats right I'm back on blogger finally!

Well, like most should know I'm back in Pretoria still adjusting to this cold front that keeps getting stronger and still trying to adapt to this new place which I must now call "Home".

I see that a lot of people have now been infected as what I'm describing as the BB (Blogger bug). People are blogging daily about just anything I'v seen just about anything on blogger now and I couldn't be happier I love se read about what people are thinking about and are sharing with the world and I respect those of you blogging about things that people are too scared to blog about (me included) but I do love to read what you have got to offer so give me your blogs and I WILL visit!

I had a funny night the other night, I was over at my neighbours house and we were doing the usualy, sitting around, watching tv, eating crips. It was around 19hrs.. When she comes up with the most Bizzare idea, she looked over at me and says : "Jess, let's go to the gym". Ok in that moment in time I was not mentally prepared for such things the gym wasn't the last thing on my mind, it wasn't ON my mind at ALL. I probably scared her by the look I gave her after she said that because it was a bit like how you find something rotton in your fridge and then feel the smell coming off right afterwards. I responded by saying : "Ummm no.." in a very confused tone, it was about half an hour later that she COMES BACK with this idea and says : "Come on Jess were paying for the gym and we hardly even go, lets just go it's winter were getting lazy and this is what happens everynight we sit on the couch eating chips". Now, I still was not processing all of this but, that last sentence she said really struck me plus, it reminded me of being very girlie and that "Girlie" moment must women face. "THE MIRRIOR MOMENT". The mirrior moment is when women finish taking a shower and of course go for the occational "Check" now, correct me if I'm wrong but, I can bet with ANY female that even the skinniest of boney models had looked in the mirror and said : "Uhhh i'm so fat". Well obiviously after saying all this, I fall guilty because I have. So we actually got up and went to the gym and ended our workout at the steam room. There is no better sensation to be described after entering a steam room, you feel 100x lighter, your skin feels 100x softer its amazing!

I definietly have gotton some insperation to visit the gym more often :)

Mozambique April Holidays

So, I use up the blog, to explore thing like, how my day was, to express feelings or show off things I like.

 I just realized the blogs been really sad and antique which makes it feel really dead, which I do NOT like.

So todayI'm not going to write much but am just going to show some pictures of what I'v been up too with some friends. 

Enjoy

It's gone

Theres this girl, she is the average teenage girl, always complaining about something or bragging on and on about her weight, clueless to the fact that she looks fine. Her clothes aren't fancy and she doesn't over dress, OK maybe every know and then she will show of her "feminine: side. She smiles and laughs in delight opposite to the night when she lays in her bed and drifts of at the visions of her own life. In one early morning in routine to all others something different happens, she opens her eyes and the vivid colors weren't as vivid and pristine as usual.

The air felt crisp and cold and as her feet touched wooden floors they almost felt like a blanket of snow. Ignoring this fact and seeing it as another day she continued her day. As she walked down the wooden path, she stumbled into what looked like a forest, the colors still dead in sight and no track of life. The colors kept fading and fading as she took each step forward, an unfamiliar and strange feel crawled up her spine creating grouse bumps all over neck and arms. She shriveled at the sensation but didn't stop walking.

Her walk came to an abrupt stop when a polite wind blew her hair, she turned back to to investigate nothing was what she saw. She looked around and realized everything was black and white, she stood their breathing as the cold slowly turn her into ice. Drops of blood fell from her cold nose, she could no longer feel the tips of her fingers, her breathing intensifying and she battled to respire and he heart beating and a slower pace by the second, it was clear what was coming next, gravity was to powerful as her body hit the ground, laying of the floor quivering from the cold her thoughts were clear and the only thing that entered her life was all the best moments, all the happiness, the fun and the unforgettable.

Memories

Looking at the last Black & White post, really made me take a trip down memory lane and remember my days of innocence. Certain memories of how I met some of the great people I know today, memories of all the place I'v been in this great city, all the places I'v laughed, cried and truly made my mark.

I don't live here anymore, physically but my heart and soul will NEVER leave. 

I came back, after my goodbye, my goodbye to the city and all it's remarkable and unforgettable people. But I'm sad, I'm sad because although the city remains, the city feels empty, the people I once knew that made this city what it once was, have gone. They've gone to make their mark in other citys and towns. I no longer feel that warmth and love but I feel the bitter cold whip my face, my afternoons are no longer a blissful walk of laughter and fun with my friends but are instead spent in my living room couch while tuning into old TV tunes bantering on about things I don't really care about. I repeat it once again though.

"I don't live here anymore, physically but my heart and soul will NEVER leave."

My new city, is like a tree in new land. I don't know what it will look like, what it's leaves will look like, or how long it will live. It will only have my back it I care for it, nourishing it with my smiles, caring for it with grace and loving it like my child. I don't know the people here and they stare at me with unfamiliar faces, I stare out my window trying to find something that looks familiar without any luck. I do however, believe that once I grow into it, I will get to know this new place, I will make new memories with its people and I will have a new inspiration.

"Maputo, I don't live here anymore, physically but my heart and soul will NEVER leave."

Friendship&Life

Finally putting aside just posting to show my pictures, I'm going to use this blog for other purposes.
I can definitely say that my life has taken a full 360 deg turn this year, I no longer live at home. I'v moved out and I have to admit, although I feel lonely at times it's definitely something I'm proud of.
It would be a little cheesy for me to say something along the lines of "Life we all go through new changes and experiences" so, instead I say I'm going through something spectacular, something new and different and It feels damn scary but, just by taking that leap and soaring that high, I feel unstoppable, able to accomplish anything and go through anything.

I'v learnt a lot, ever since my earliest memories there is always something that stands out, an image, a face. I was told somethings, others I found out about and I reacted to it in my own way, whether it was through tears, or even pretending that everything was Ok.

I can say that even at the age I'm at now, I'v gone through somethings although some people may not understand it and think "What a kid" I disagree because they don't know me, they haven't been with me every waking hour, they've never experienced a day, a week a whole year in my shoes, in my body or travelled with the thoughts I carry with me everyday. They haven't shared the strong bonds and the unforgettable days and times I'v spent with my friends, or the laughs I'v shared even with a common stranger.  They do not know the history of my ancestors, where my origins are from, then again do I? And even though I may be saying I do, do I have the right proof? In the end all I can say is life truly is a mystery it's to big to fit in a box, to confusing to write about, to mysterious to actually know what it looks like but, it's there it's messy at times and you hate it but, I believe, you deserve it, it will be the best thing you got.

Black & White Project

I had a pretty rough morning today, I ended up being up and out of bed at 5:30 in the morning. It wasn't all that bad actually, I went downstairs from my building and took some early sky pictures which will be posted very soon.

As for the rest of the day, went at quite an unusual pace, I went to the park with some friends and dedicated that short time to focus on the Black & White Project as well as finally hitting the outdoors. I had a lot on my mind today and with the fresh air and time with some friends I haven't seen in a while it really did help to clear my head.

Being around all those children and looking at them and seeing such innocence in they're really made me realize that there is still a little good in the world, Being a child when the only thing that mattered in the world was having the prettiest barbie doll and always having mum and dad feeding and caring for everything, infinite kisses and hugs and being flaunted at by mum at all her friends and seeing the jealousy in their eyes.

But whats happens when we grow? We develop, we educate ourselves and think that whatever mum and dad say isn't wrong but not entirely correct compared to the way I think. When we pick what boy we like and want to date, but the parents don't approve, when our grades aren't the best and they blame it on our lack of interest. In the end its how life progresses, were born, we live and then sadly we decend.

Enjoy